Updated: Jul 9, 2020
By: Logan Cohen, Professional Therapist & Online Life Coach for Men
Most People have heard of a "mindset", or "a pattern of beliefs & attitudes held by someone", but what about a "growth mindset"?
It's SO important to make sure you have a growth mindset because The World can be such a CHAOTIC place! The daily trials and tribulations of Life will challenge us on some days MORE than others and when this happens, we HAVE to have our priorities straight in order to keep our balance.
When we go down, the ability to have a growth mindset will help us land on our feet so we can learn from the experience and keep pushing in the right direction, rather than losing our confidence, going back to our comfort zone, and staying stuck in old patterns.
Would you like to know how to have a growth mindset from a licensed professional therapist with over 10 years in the field who has specialized with Men going through significant & difficult life transformations like recovery from Addiction & Unresolved Trauma?
If so, you are in the right place. Let's help you GROW through Life with BALANCE - regardless of what you are going through!
How to Have a Growth Mindset
#1 Way to Have a Growth Mindset - Healthy Boundaries
If you want to know how to have a growth mindset, then Healthy Boundaries are KEY. When we have Healthy Boundaries, there is a balance - or "dynamic tension" - between our Personal Integrity and our Generosity with resources.
Our Personal Integrity is a collection of "core values" that provides the guides for how we go about making decisions. This is also the "guiding light" of our Life's Purpose. To learn more about how we use our Personal Integrity to guide our Life's Purpose, you can check out our Self-Guided Coaching Plan for Life's Purpose.
Since our Personal Integrity is SO important, we must be mindful with our Generosity - how giving we are with our resources to other People & Community's. Our resources can include time, money, or talents - and there is only SO much of it to go around! And not only must we be careful about how we "spend" our generosity, we MUST have enough to meet our OWN needs - otherwise, we block ourselves from meeting our OWN Personal Integrity.
When we create Healthy Boundaries with Friends, Family Members, & Associates, can meet our Love & Belonging Needs AND make sure our Personal Integrity is in one piece - after all - we cannot pour from an empty cup.
Would you like to learn more about Healthy Boundaries so YOU can have a growth mindset? Learn more detailed information in this blog.
How to Have a Growth Mindset
#2 Way to Have a Growth Mindset - Motivation Equation
When it comes to growing through hard times, the Motivation Equation CANNOT be forgotten.
If you want to know how to have a growth mindset, the ability to keep motivation high enough to keep going when "we don't feel like it" is ESSENTIAL if you keep working towards your goals.
It is common that People who struggle with motivation either have BIG IDEAS that are never attempted, OR might find themselves beginning a process of change, then quitting when things get hard enough - only to go back to the old comfort zone - and sometimes even MORE stuck & with LESS faith then before.
People who are struggling with motivation are lying to themselves about one of two things.
1) They do not actually want to achieve the goals as much as they say they do - at least right now (Importance), OR
2) They are trying to do WAY to much WAY too quickly! (Faith)
When we have Faith in our ability to complete the task as planned and actually BELIEVE how Important this is, we have balanced the Motivation Equation!
This is how we make sure we set ourselves up with the Motivation Equation to have a growth mindset.
Would a quick video be helpful to summarize these ideas?
If you would like to learn more about the Motivation Equation, feel free to check out this free blog for more detailed information to help you have a growth mindset.
How to Have a Growth Mindset
#3 Way to Have a Growth Mindset - Diversity
Have you heard that old phrase that, "Variety is the spice of Life", or maybe that "it takes all kinds?" These are both old sayings that hold ancient Tribal wisdom.
Since Human Beings are such SOCIAL animals, we MUST have a functioning social group to be a part of that is also DIVERSE in order to have a growth mindset.
The more similar group members are, the less diversity there is in skill-sets & thought processes.
This is a group that has a LOT in common, but has very little ability to solve more dynamic problems as a group because they struggle with "groupthink" - "a way of making decisions that discourages creativity or individual responsibility".
This type of community worked MUCH better in the Old World with isolated farming communities, but the post-Industrial age of Modern Society has created SO much connection between everyone in the World with technology that a lack of diversity can actually make our blind-spots even BIGGER!
The more diverse our group is, the more there will be a difference of personal opinion.
This provides space for constructive feedback, sharing of new information, and even the creation of TOTALLY NEW IDEAS to solve problems. When we take a step back it is actually quite easy to see why diversity is so important if you want to know how to have a growth mindset.
Traditional Manhood Doesn't Let Men Have a Growth Mindset
Wait a second, Men get to have SO much professional, financial, and social influence - so what does that MEAN that traditional manhood doesn't let men have a growth mindset?
#1 Way Traditional Manhood Doesn't Let Men Have a Growth Mindset
Winning = Success
As Boys, we are taught that a "Real Man" is a WINNER, that "second is the first loser", and that we should focus on winning in competition against others in order to see our relative value and worth compared to other Men.
This is left over from our beginnings as the primary Hunters & Warriors and was reinforced by the needs of Loved Ones in the Old World.
Now in Modern Society, our ability to push through FAILURE and learn from our mistakes, rather than QUITTING - has become MUCH more important than any one competition. Not to mention teamwork - but more on that in a minute.
#2 Way Traditional Manhood Doesn't Let Men Have a Growth Mindset
Emotional Restriction ("Stoicism")
As Boys, we are taught that "getting emotional" is a sign of weakness, or even worse - seen as an indication of "femininity". As a result, Men VERY rarely learn a FULL range of Emotional Intelligence (you know - BEYOND Angry and Happy).
While this works well on the battlefield and when hunting animals, this DOES NOT work for the rest of the complicated social processes that Men are now expected to be actively involved with in Modern Society.
Whether this is about business leadership, healthy romantic relationships, or building meaningful Friendships - having a FULL range of Emotional Intelligence is SO important if you want to know how to have a growth mindset.
If you are ready to learn more about Emotional Intelligence specifically and break free from those old social & cultural sticking points, check out our Emotional Intelligence Self-Guided Coaching Plan here.
#3 Way Traditional Manhood Doesn't Let Men Have a Growth Mindset
As Boys, we are taught that a "Real Man" doesn't have to ask for help and in fact, this is another "sign of weakness or stupidity."
Again, this is very helpful to keep that old "warrior spirit" alive - as well as to compete with other Men who are trying to impress or provide for mating partners - but Modern Society now requires us to be MUCH more effective in group settings.
This requires setting Healthy Boundaries (as discussed above), but how do you do that if we insist in always “having control”?
Or if we won't share resources equally or fairly because we are TOO focused on hoarding resources to "look successful"?
A common result is that Men often have a hard time in more dynamic groups that require working TOGETHER. This plays out in barriers for Men in business relationships, Friendships, & Family Relationships alike.
If you are ready to REALLY shed these old "comfort zones" from traditional manhood and make sure you set Self & Loved Ones up for success because you know how to have a growth mindset with WHATEVER Life happens to throw at you, check out our Personal Identity Self-Guided Coaching Plan here.
My name is Logan Cohen and I am a Professional Therapist & Life Coach with over 10 years in the field of Counseling Psychology. I am a Clinical Supervisor for the American Association of Marriage & Family Therapy, as well as the founder of New Leaf Counseling Group, LLC in Charlotte, NC. After spending tens of thousands of clinical hours with my own clients, starting a successful group practice, as well as a beautiful Family, I “picked my head up from the grindstone” to check in on childhood Friends & Loved Ones.
I painfully discovered that more than a few of my childhood Friends passed away at a young age from preventable health conditions and decided that as a Man, Husband, Father, and Friend, I could no longer stand by as People suffered in silence and self-destructed rather than ask for help. It doesn’t have to be like that and the holistic healing methods offered by the Balanced Man Plan is designed to help People “get unstuck” and break free from old patterns that are the barriers between Self & quality of Life.
The Balanced Man Plan is a therapeutic digital experience delivered through Self-Guided Coaching Plans created by a Male Therapist with the common barriers & strengths of Men in mind. The Balanced Man Plan has the goal of introducing a natural Balance back to Life so it is sustainable for the optimal Health & Well-Being of Self and Loved Ones - and ALL from the privacy and comfort of Home. If you have enjoyed what you see so far, check out our Self Guided Coaching Plans!